Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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