I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
