are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
