I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
