I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
