Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
