Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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