Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
