the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
