Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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