I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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