I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
