Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize