Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
