I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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