I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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