Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
NoShamevember. You game?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
