So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
