I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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