So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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