Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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