i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
