He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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