Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I fill condoms, not promises.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
