if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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