sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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