I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
