Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
