SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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