I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
