I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
