His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
