drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
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