so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
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