I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
