Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize