Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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