his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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