Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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