I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
