Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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