Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
