Plan B is the new Plan A
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
