how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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