I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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