rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize