btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
