with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
