quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
