It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
