He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
