they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I need water and some morals
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
