You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
