only if we run a train.
done.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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