we have pet lesbian snakes
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
