Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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