all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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