Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
